Johannesburg / the worst 24 (part 4)

So because it's Friday and because I felt like it, I created a special drawing in paint to convey the remainder of the worst 24 story. So Jordan and I accepted the fact that we had to sleep in the police station. We start to fall asleep sitting up, but this is too difficult for me. I need to lay down. We are also sharing the police station benches with a drunk South African, who happens to be in the middle of the benches. So I, the baby blue stick figure, lay on one bench and Jordan, the green stick figure, on the other. And between us lays the South African. The blue stick figures are the police officers who stayed behind the counter the entire evening and were laughing and joking amongst themselves.

At about 4am, the door of the police station bursts open. In walks one of the Canadian guys who simply says, "I'm here to rescue you." I am so excited I jump straight from the bench and follow the Canadian out the door. Apparently the police man they talked to knew what he was doing. The Canadians had a brand new car with four full tires. We enter in the GPS coordinates for our hostel, and the Canadians drove us the hour and half it took to get back to our hostel. I have never been more grateful. Not only did they come back for us, but they drove us out of their way at 4 in the morning in South Africa. Very, very, just simply amazing.

We get to the hostel around 5:30, and realize none of the Israeli vehicles are there. We get a little panicked that they're still looking for us in Rustenburg, but they end up arriving about 15 minutes after us. They waited until they were the last car in the parking lot at the stadium before driving back to the hostel, and they got lost on the way. So, despite our ordeal, we still ended up beating them back.

I was - and hopefully will never again be -happy to be in my 8 person bunk, with 6 snoring Chileans....

Johannesburg / the worst 24 (part 3)

So Rustenburg, the town we watch the game, does not have alot going on. You should not visit here if you visit South Africa. It's not really located near anything fun, and doesn't have much to offer. I may be a bit biased because the time spent here was horrible, but regardless of that, I still believe it's not worth a trip.

As it turns out, the bus we boarded after the game did not take us to the parking lot we needed. We asked an attendant for help, he directed us to a mini bus that proceeded to drive us around to the other lots for an hour. We still were unable to find the parking lot with our Israeli friends and a ride back to the hostel (an hour and a half away). The attendant man that drove us around was very friendly, but after an hour he told us he had to get back to his family. So he dropped us off on the side of the road, in front of the stadium, around 1am.

We start walking, with no real plan. It's as we're walking that we run into two Canadian guys. Their car has a flat tire and they're looking for a mechanic/auto shop. With nothing else to do, we start walking with them. As we're walking, we try to flag down police officers to help us. Several drive by without stopping. One stops and tells us he doesn't know where the police station is because they had bussed him in from another city. All in all, very helpful. Finally one car stops and the four of us pile in to go to the police station.

The Canadians start talking to one cop, and we to another. We call hotels and hostels, there are no vacancies. We call rental car companies, none are open. The Canadians discover there are no auto shops open, but one of the cops knows a guy, who knows a guy that can come out and fix their car (at 2 in the morning). They tell us if that doesn't work, they will sleep in their car until the morning. They had left a third friend with the car. So there would be 5 of us in a VW golf for the night. The decision was easy. We were going to sleep in the station until the morning, and then rent a car to take to the hostel.

Johannesburg / the worst 24 (part 2)

So, if you read the previous post - the first of the worst, you're probably thinking that what happened wasn't so bad. And it wasn't. It was just the beginning of a series of unfortunate events....

So we join our new Israeli friends on their adventure. South Africa has a bunch of animal reserves. Basically they put a fence around a large piece of land where wild animals live and declare it a park. You pay about a dollar per person and then drive through on your own taking pictures of the animals you see.

We went to Pilanesberg Game Reserve, which is one of the largest at 55,000 hectare. 1 hectare = 2.5 acres, so the park was approximately 137,500 acres. Right? Or something. I'm not good at math. Regardless, it was big. Gigantic even. The all inclusive tour would take three hours, we were told. Of course this was too long, so we decided to drive the shortened, hour tour. We were also given strict instructions to not leave our vehicles or roll down our windows more than half way. There were lions and hyenas in the park. This makes sense. So we start driving, see some elephants, a giraffe and baby giraffe. We're having fun. It's a narrow dirt road. The car we're in starts driving a bit faster and then swerving a bit - still having fun. And then the fun stops. Our car runs over a rock and into a ditch. We are stuck. Everyone has to exit the vehicle to survey the damage and attempt to unstick the car. We are in a game reserve surrounded by waist-high grass. The Israelis are yelling at each other in Hebrew, and I start to freak out. No one was eaten, thankfully. After an hour we got the car free and drove back the route we had taken. The car had a flat tire, which was fixed. We shake ourselves off, happy to have made it out alive.

At this point, we're running late to the game, which is the whole reason we were with the Israelis. We park the car at the stadium and start to run to the stadium. We quickly exchange phone numbers with the Israelis and a plan to meet back at the car after the game. We get to the stadium ten minutes late, and had missed Ghana's first goal. Bad mood. The game was good. Sad to have seen the US lose, but happy it was to an African team. So we start walking back to the shuttle to take us to the car.

This was our first game, and we quickly realized it wasn't very well organized. There were no lines just masses of people being funneled onto buses. We also realize there are many, many parking lots. And we also realize that neither of us can remember what parking lot our Israeli friends are at. The game went into overtime, so it's around 11:30pm by the time we find our way onto a bus, going to a parking lot we hope is the parking lot.

Johannesburg/ the worst 24 hours (part 1).

So we ended our drive in Port Elizabeth and were preparing to board a flight to Johannesburg for the next leg of the adventure. We flew on an airline, strangely named 1time air. It was here that things started to go bad. Our flight was delayed two hours putting us into Johannesburg around 11pm. The man from our hostel, Sunnyside Up, was waiting those extra 2 hours to pick us up. He drives us to the hostel. Apparently booking a chalet 'with the possibility of sharing with others' meant we were stuck in an 8 bed dorm. I went back through old emails, and never were the words 'dorm' or '8 bed bunk' mentioned. I argue with the man, Martin, and realize there is no alternative. So we head to our bunk.

It's the coldest winter South Africa has had since 1912. Our bunks were in a thinly insulated hut. And the rest of our bunkmates were Chilean dudes. All of whom had major snoring problems. Six of the loudest snorers I have ever heard, all snoring together. This and the cold permitted me to get about 2 hours of sleep that night. This hostel, too, was located in the middle of nowhere, and there were no towels for us to purchase, nor anywhere for us to walk and buy. So aside from the cold and my lack of sleep, I woke up dirty.

We go to the main lodge at the hostel to make some tea to warm and wake up. It's here that we meet some of the other hostel members: seven Israelis. The Israelis tell us they were at the game the night before and saw advertised tickets for the game that evening - the USA vs. Ghana game. When else are we going to get to see the USA play in South Africa? We go online and purchase tickets, with 9 minutes left to do this. The Israelis have two cars and say they have room to give us a ride to the game. Perfect! The game's at 8:30 pm and an hour and a half away in Rustenburg. The Israelis want to do touristy stuff in the area, so we tag along, leaving our hostel around noon.

This is our first tour through the northern part of South Africa. It's in the middle of the country, so it's more dusty and warmer than Cape Town. I very much prefer Cape Town to Johannesburg. And not just for the story that will follow.

Driving the Garden Route. Day 2.

So - to our delight - we survived the night at the scary hostel in the middle of nowhere. Our German host made us a homemade breakfast of dessert crepes which was splendid. And we were off. When initially planning the trip, we wanted to go to an ostrich farm and ride them. Unfortunately, we didn't have enough time and opted to hit up the other "must see" on our list, the Cango Caves. The caves were very cool. We did the 'Standard Tour' because of our time limits. So it was a nice leisurely walk through some amazing limestone formations.

The Cango Caves also offered The 'Adventure Tour', which sounded fun. You went deeper into the caves and, at points, had to crawl on your belly and all fours. Our Standard Tour guide told us an interesting story. Apparently, an overweight woman had tried to go on the tour. The people collecting tickets told her that it wasn't advisable that she do the tour because it would be unsafe. The woman became upset and tried to blame their denial on the color of her skin. Eventually, they allowed her on the tour, but advised that if she couldn't fit through a crevice, she would have to wait. So she went on the tour and at the second narrowing, she couldn't fit. She was told to wait and the rest of the tour went deeper into the cave. The woman then tried to fit through the narrowing on her own, slipped and got stuck. The woman was stuck in the cave for 15 hours. The worse part: the other people on the tour were stuck deeper in the cave because the woman was blocking the only way out. And it was very humid in the cave. Eventually, with muscle relaxants, they were able to extricate the woman. I would've been so pissed...

So, after the cave tour, we continued our journey to Port Elizabeth to catch our evening flight. We stopped in Knysna, a cute beach town known for oysters, for a lunch of oysters. We made it to the airport 3 hours before our flight, enough time to grab some dinner and catch a Spain game on the tv.

It was the next 24 hour period that was the worse part of the trip....

Driving the Garden Route.

When I say the trip was all inclusive, I very much mean it. We rented a car in Cape Town and decided to drive it to Port Elizabeth. Again, I wish I could've added more time. There were so many cool places to stop along the way.

The drive- according to Google Maps (also source for the map above) is 797 km long (494 miles) and takes 10 hrs 24 minutes. I did some calculations. To put things into perspective, this would be the distance for us to drive from SF to the southern most point of CA, or Tijuana, Mexico. Arriba!

Driving in South Africa is similar to driving in the UK. Drivers seat is on the right and you drive on the left. It was a bit stressful - probably more so for me - than for Jordan, who actually drove. Driving on the freeway was cake, as you just drove straight. It was driving through small towns or roundabouts that made things harrier. But we survived. Phew.

Anyways, thankfully, we broke the journey into 2 days of driving and spent the night in Oudtshoorn. Outdtshoorn is home for the largest ostrich population in the world. So an obvious place for us to stay the night. Being in the dead center of our journey, also helped us with that decision.

It was pretty crazy driving to our hostel - located in the absolute middle of nowhere. We passed hundreds and hundreds of ostriches. Fenced in just like cattle are raised, but instead of cow herds, pseudo "aviaries". To commemorate our new friends and neighbors, we dined on ostrich steak that evening. A bit chewy, but very very tasty.

Cape Town.

We entered South Africa through Cape Town, and I immediately fell in love. Such an awesome place. Cape Town is similar to SF - seaside city with a nearby wine region. A city that doesn't feel like a city. Two full days was really not enough time for us here.

To start, our hostel was very clean and had awesome staff, but was in a horrible location. "In the middle of the gang war area" was how our cab driver described it. So not being able to leave or walk around the area was a bit of a disapointment. We had to take a cab if we wanted to go anywhere. This was really the only negative about the time spent in Cape Town.

The first day we went to Table Mountain. Unfortunately, the weather at the top was cloudy, so we didn't take the tram thing up. Added to the list for the next trip. We were dropped off in the city center at a market. Bought some homemade goods and then walked to Long Street.

After exploring around here, we made our way to the FIFA fan zone. FIFA sent up a bunch of locations around South Africa to watch the games. It was a cool area - fenced off - with free giveaways and places to buy food and beer with some large TV screens. Obviously everyone was rooting for SA to win. There were way too many people at the fan zone before the game started, and we would've had to have watched the game while standing in the middle of all of them, so we headed to a bar. Their win over France put the town in good spirits, despite the fact that they would not advance.

The next day was the best day of my life. We had booked a half day tour following the coast of the Cape. Expecting it to be like the London tour - we had low expectations - and were prepared to be on a bus with a bunch of strangers struggling to overcome more jetlag. Unexpectedly, we were the only two on the tour, so we were in a private car with our guide, Bobby. We went from the City Center down to Simons Town to Cape Point and then up to Hout Bay. At Cape Point, you can see where the Indian Ocean meets the Atlantic. My optimistic pictures did not turn out. All the towns we passed were small beach towns. On the tour we almost ran over some baboons (on several occaisons) and we got to visit with some penguins and see some ostriches. It was a very, very beautiful drive. And Bobby was a great tour guide.

After our tour, we went back to the hostel and threw on our USA jerseys and went back to the fan zone to meet our friend Josh and some other Americans to watch the US play Alergia. For whatever reason the fan zone was only playing the London game on its larger tvs. Unsatisfied with the mini tv they provided for the US game, we went in search of a bar. We started out with maybe 10 people - decked out in red, white and blue - walking through Cape Town. Slowly more began to follow us. By the time we reached a bar, the Purple Turtle, we had grown to about 40. I'm not exactly sure how it happened, but by the time the game started there were about 65 Americans crowded into the Purple Turtle, and by half time, about 80. It was a great place to watch the game. And it turned out to be an awesome game. The US won. The Purple Turtle blasted Miley Cyrus' 'Party in the USA' because they knew that's the exact song we sing in celebrations such as that.

After the game, we - regretfully - had to leave our Miley singing friends behind because we had reservations at a very, very nice restaurant. A couple months before our trip, a list of the top 50 restaurants in the world came out. Number 12, La Colombre, was in Cape Town. Reservations were made shortly after the list was published. I could proably dedicate a post, possibly a book about the experience. We had a 5 course meal paired with local wine. It was an amazing time. The food was perfect - every bite a vacation. And wine - five glasses - is never a bad thing. To add to the magic, the meal cost $65. Five courses! At the 12 best restaurant in the world!

Fell asleep full, drunk, happy in our hostel surrounded by gang warfare.

Map source.